Month of March

It is said that March will either come in like a lion or lamb and will leave, the opposite.  Well, last year, 2013, our whole month of March was that of a lion.  Coming into March 2014, I have a lot of anxiety and unsettled nerves.  My hope is that this March will be a March to remember, for all its good rather than the bad.  I would like our whole month of March to be a lamb.  We have started it off right, with our Wish Trip and I hope to continue the great times.

A year ago, March started with me, in a lot of pain and you acting different than normal.  You were more tired and didn't want to do too much.  We thought you were getting teeth, an ear infection or were worried about me.  March 12th was my back surgery, which was hopefully going to be the answer to a lot of your "different" behavior.  Doctors figured once I recovered, and wasn't lying in bed all the time, you would "snap" out of your funk.  Well, that was not the case and March continued to just get worse.  We finally had you admitted March 27th, 2013 and then we would start a journey we would have never thought possible.  We missed Easter as a family and I will never forget the full Easter basket sitting in your room, waiting for you to return.  It killed me to empty and put Easter away while you and Daddy were in Calgary.  This year, I know things will be better, but it is hard to shake some of these feelings...it kinda feels like deja vu, and I need to realize that today is a new day and I need celebrate that things are great right now.

Tomorrow we leave to go to Calgary to have all your tests done again.  You will have a chest x-ray, MRI, ultrasound, bone marrow aspiration, lumbar puncture and a check up with Dr. Anderson.  Your tests came back, all clear, 3 months ago and I have been praying that they are the same this time around.  This time, for tests, you will have to get an IV as you no longer have your central line.  I am not too sure how this is going to fair, but I know we will get through it. At least this time you won't be expecting it, I am not sure how you will be 3 months from now.  The hard part will be waiting for the results.

As usual I don't really have anything new to add on top of what mom has already said but I wanted to say something small. I feel the same anxiety your mother does, it's not sitting and waiting for something bad to happen but feeling we are not out of the woods.  Your mom talked above about all the other things we thought it was and its hard to describe how blind sided I was when the diagnosis came.  I just want to make sure if that time ever comes again I was watching for it, I don't live on pins and needles but I am much more aware of the things that effect us all.  Praying for the best for your and know you are getting tougher yet and soon IV's will just be another thing you push through.

I end this blog watching you drive your tractor up and down the driveway. Hooray, for some nice weather!!  My heart is so happy to see you so active. We actually all went for a family walk tonight too, just another thing that was not possible last year for you or I.  I just pray that every day is like today!!

Love you to the moon and back,

Mom